


My Heart is Available, but My Brain is Out of Office

by kowaidesuka



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Claude uses kaomojis in the office, Dorte is Instagram famous, F/F, Ignatz is trying to follow his passions and I am here for it, Lorenz writes passive aggressive emails, Lysithea and Catherine are cousins, Minor Catherine/Shamir, Minor Cyril/Lysithea, This is totally self-indulgent, Those Who Slither in the Dark is a hacker group, changing software names so i dont get sued, windows??? more like VERDANT WINDows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-11-28 21:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kowaidesuka/pseuds/kowaidesuka
Summary: “Shut up…” Grumbling to herself, she trudged into the printing room, and not three seconds later, returned to her desk, looking dazed.“Oh, hey, back already?”“Claude? Who… who was that?”“Who was what?”“In the copy room, like, a blue-haired girl? Is she new or something?”OR: A 3-part, 2-person, 1-sided courtship between two low-rung, less-than-stellar office employees.





	1. Please Don't Misuse the CC: system

**Author's Note:**

> You either die a Marianne or live long enough to see yourself become a Hilda.
> 
> I've wanted to write a MariHilda fic for a while, and I've also been wanting to write an Office AU fic for sometime. So my singular brain cell came up with "MariHilda Office AU (but not THE Office AU because you will never be that funny lmao)"
> 
> Loosely based on my own few years of experience being a lowly admin in the office. Apologies in advance for any confusion or formatting errors, and I hope you enjoy! ^^

** Windbows Outlook **

_From: Seteth Cichol (on behalf of Hellman Gloucester)_  
_To: Leicester Corporation - Head Office_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: Meet the New Employees_

Hi All,

It is with my greatest pleasure that we formally introduce our latest hires for this quarter:

Catherine Charon: Legal Counsel

Kyle Gates: Head of Security

Marianne von Edmund: Administrative Assistant

Please take the time in your day to say hello and make them feel welcome. We wish to continue fostering a sense of community here in Leicester Corporation.

Kindest Regards,

Hellman Gloucester  
CEO

\---------

** Windbows Startup **

**Username:** MEdmund

**Password:** *********

_Sorry, this password is incorrect._

**Password:** *********

_Sorry, this password is incorrect._

**Password:** *********

_ Sorry, you are temporarily locked out of our system. Please contact Helpdesk for assistance at 03-xxx-xxx. _

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**LGloucester:** Hello, Claude. Are you available to talk right now? This is about the new intern joining us, Marianne.  
**LGloucester:** Oh, it appears you are busy as of right now. I will email you instead.

\---------

** Windbows Outlook **

_From: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_To: Claude von Riegan_  
_Cc: Seteth Cichol, Judith von Daphnel_  
_Subject: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Good morning Claude,

As you weren’t available to talk on Skope (despite you having no visible commitments in your calendar for this morning), I am writing this email to you to express my concern over your less than stellar performance so far in our Helping Hand Program. 

I’d like to remind you that we have established this program in order to help our latest recruits feel welcome, inform and guide them through the company’s policies and best practices, and ideally foster warm and trusting relationships between coworkers, so as to align with Leicester’s values of community and kinship. This program is completely voluntary but regardless, it is of the utmost importance that we have the best and brightest volunteers in the program.

Marianne von Edmund, the recruit that you have been assigned to, has had to visit our department, advising us that the login details you’ve included in her Welcome Pack are incorrect. Please rectify this as soon as you get the chance as it would be ideal to get her started as soon as possible.

Kindest Regards,

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
Recruiter, Human Resources

_From: Claude Von Riegan_  
_To: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Hey Lorenz,

Apologies as I was in an impromptu meeting with Judith.

Actually, I swapped recruits with Ignatz. I’m in charge of Catherine, and he’s actually the one guiding Marianne. I think he’s doing client site visits for this morning though so he’ll be back in the office around 11. Maybe direct Marianne to IT?

Regards,

Claude

_From: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_To: Claude von Riegan_  
_Cc: Seteth Cichol, Judith von Daphnel_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Claude,

In the future please ensure that all formal meetings are entered in your calendar. 

I was not made aware of you switching recruits with Ignatz. This is not exactly an option in the Helping Hand Program, and while technically it doesn’t violate program or company policy, I would’ve liked to know that Catherine and Marianne had different volunteers than in the official record. Nonetheless, I would like to discourage this as an option in the future; it may be driven by ulterior or mean-spirited motives.

Kindest Regards,

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
Recruiter, Human Resources

_From: Claude Von Riegan_  
_To: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Hey, nothing of the sort happening here. A little birdie (name starts with ‘H’, ends in ‘anneman’) told me that Catherine is Lysithea’s cousin. All I wanted was to get to know my friend’s family a little more… and maybe dig up a little dirt on her in the process ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks,  
Claude

_From: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_To: Claude von Riegan_  
_Cc: Seteth Cichol, Judith von Daphnel_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Claude, 

That is the very definition of an ulterior motive.

I will have a chat with Ignatz about this when he’s back in the office, but please ensure you follow company guidelines in the future or there will be consequences.

Kindest Regards,

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
Recruiter, Human Resources

_From: Judith von Daphnel_  
_To: Lorenz Gloucester, Claude Von Riegan_  
_Cc: Seteth Cichol_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

Gloucester,

Was it really necessary to CC me and Seteth in all of this?

The recruit Claude is in charge of is perfectly settled in, go talk to the person that actually screwed up. And I don’t find it necessary to retrospectively report 10 minute meetings, I don’t need any damn minutes or calendar records to remember the discussions I’ve had with my team.

\- Judith

_From: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_To: Judith von Daphnel, Claude Von Riegan_  
_Cc: Seteth Cichol_  
_Subject: RE: Your Participation in Leicester’s Helping Hand Program_

My apologies, Judith. I’ll get on it right away.

Kindest Regards,

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
Recruiter, Human Resources

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**CRiegan:** thx Judith I owe you one

**JDaphnel:** Uh-huh. Don’t forget you owe me a week of overtime for this, boy.

**CRiegan:** you got it boss ('-'*ゞ

**JDaphnel:** Okay, how the hell did you do that.

**JDaphnel:** You know what, never mind. Just go back to preparing our quarterly report for Nader to look over.

\---------

"I am so sorry for the delay, Marianne."

"That's okay, um…"

"Gloucester. Lorenz Hellman Gloucester."

"It's very nice to meet you, Lorenz."

"There's been a bit of a mixup with your logins and onboarding, I'm afraid your guide won't be here until after 11. You're free to start setting up at your desk though, it should be the empty one between Risk and Procurement, and the Legal department."

"Oh, okay…"

"I could walk you there if you'd like?"

"No, that's quite alright. I don't want to occupy too much of your time."

"Alright, I'll leave you to it. Let me know if you need anything else, Marianne."

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**LGloucester:** Hello Ignatz. I assume you finished your meeting with your client?

**IVictor:** Hello Lorenz! Yes, I’m on the train coming back to the office now. Is something the matter?

**LGloucester:** I heard from Claude you’re the one guiding Marianne instead of Catherine.

**IVictor:** Oh, yes! Sorry for not telling you sooner, Claude said it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

**LGloucester:** No need to apologise, but Marianne is having issues with the login details you provided for her in her Welcome Pack.

**IVictor:** Oh no! I’ll rectify this with IT as soon as I get back.

**IVictor:** In fact, I'll contact Helpdesk right now.

**LGloucester:** That would be brilliant, thank you.

**LGloucester:** Oh, and Ignatz?

**IVictor:** Yes?

**LGloucester:** The advertisement mockups you sent to the marketing department were amazing. If you ever consider formally transitioning to that department, I’d be more than happy to put in a good word for you to my father.

**IVictor:** Oh wow! Thank you so much!

\---------

"Oh, was there a seating rearrangement I wasn't made aware of?"

"Oh, I…"

"Wait, you're one of the new hires! I remember now. Marianne right?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh, no need for that. I'm Holst Goneril, but you can just call me Holst."

"Oh! Holst as in my-"

"Your acting manager, yes. It's just a formality though. Your role is more of a jack of all trades type. The Procurement, Risk, Governance, all of these departments kind of blend into one. The things we all deal with kind of blend together but, well, we’ve just had these departments kept separate since forever. It’s a little silly, now that I think about it."

"I see…"

"Your desk is the one over near the far window. This is where Hilda from Risk and Advisory sits. She's my little sister, actually!"

"Oh, sorry, it's just HR told me it was an empty desk somewhere here and…"

"Empty? So you didn't see a pink-haired girl anywhere around here yet?"

"No, sir- um, Holst…"

"Huh. That's… odd."

"Um… so my desk is the one over there? I'll just… move over then…"

"Okay, here let me help you with that-"

"No, it's okay. I don't want to be a bother…"

\---------

"Why, good morning, Holst! Who was that just at Hilda's desk?"

"That was Marianne, the new administrative assistant for the head office. She was actually recommended by Edmund, apparently she's a family friend of his?"

"Ah, Marianne, from the new hire email!"

"That's the one."

"I heard Lorenz gave Claude quite the grilling over not helping properly with her onboarding. In fact, you could say he raised hell… man."

"... not your best work, Alois, I'm afraid."

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**IVictor:** Hey Lysithea? Marianne the new intern isn't able to log in.

**Lysithea:** Strange. Alright, I'll just do a password reset.

**Lysithea:** I don't recall you coming around to collect login details for her though.

**IVictor:** Oh, since I did the onboarding for Kyle as well I just typed up the same password for her as Kyle.

**Lysithea:** you what.

**IVictor:** I thought all new hires start off with the same password though.

**Lysithea:** Yeah but they change monthly.

**IVictor:** Oh, like our ones!

**Lysithea:** Yes exactly. ALL the passwords change monthly.

**Lysithea:** Alright, come and collect her password for her then.

**IVictor:** Sorry, I'm not in the office right now.

**Lysithea:** Great.

**IVictor:** I'll be back soon though!

**Lysithea:** I'll find her myself. Goodbye.

\---------

"Marianne?"

"Oh! Yes, hello, I'm… I am Marianne, yes. It's nice to meet you…?"

"I'm Lysithea Von Ordelia, I work Helpdesk in the IT department. There was a mixup with your login details, so I reset your password. Here you go."

"Oh, thank you so much."

"No need, it's my job. Although... can I just say what isn't my job?"

"Um… sure?"

"It is not my job to plug in your computer, turn on your monitor, reset your wifi, or anything else that involves basic troubleshooting. We get hundreds of tickets every day, I don't have time to hold people's hands through easy fixes."

"Oh… alright…"

"And don't come crying to me about how your level 3 issue is actually a level 1 issue and you really, really need a fix before ‘close of business’ the same day, like _no_. If it really is a level 1, go talk to Hanneman about it."

"Okay…"

"And Marianne? Try and avoid getting dragged into Hilda's bullshit, she can and will get you to help her out with something or other, no matter what department you're in. Oh, and shred that paper once you're done with it."

"Right…"

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**Lysithea:** I KNOW IT WAS YOU.

**CRiegan:** Whatever do you mean, little miss?

**Lysithea:** DONT CALL ME THAT

**Lysithea:** YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT THAT MERINGUE ABOMINATION ON MY DESK. THE ONE WITH "SORRY FOR EATING YOUR BDAY CAKE" ON IT

**CRiegan:** Ah yeah. Catherine isn't as tight lipped as you are about your childhood? Or should I say, "Cassy Wassy"? (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

**Lysithea:** SHUT UP

**CRiegan:** but really Lysithea, the whole cake? How on earth did you manage that at only 6 years old?

**Lysithea:** STOP

\---------

**Lysithea:** … I have pie.

**RKirsten:** ALRIGHT! Omw over

**Lysithea:** You can have it all, I don't fucking want it

**Lysithea:** Actually no you can have half

\---------

"Why, good morning, desk buddy!”

“Hilda! Coming in at... 10:47, I see. That’s a record low for you.”

“Oh, well you see, Claude, I had a doctor’s appointment. God, the wait list for that takes forever, you know.”

“Huh, that’s strange. Because your brother was looking for you all morning.”

“Oh, crap.”

“Yeah, and then he told Nader, and Nader left a bunch of old board meeting papers for you to photocopy and file away.”

“Great.”

“...”

“... Hey, Claude?”

“Not a chance. I’m elbow deep in this report.”

“Ugh, _fine_. I can’t believe I have to do this.”

“You mean you have to do what you’re paid for, for once? Oh, the _horror_ of it all!”

“Shut up…” Grumbling to herself, she trudged into the printing room, and not three seconds later, returned to her desk, looking dazed.

“Oh, hey, back already?”

“Claude? Who… who was that?”

“Who was what?” 

“In the copy room, like, a blue-haired girl? Is she new or something?”

“Oh yeah, that’s Marianne. She’s a new assistant for… well a bunch of departments, actually. Including yours and mine.”

“Oh… great. Cool, cool.”

“Why? What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, really, just… her hair was really pretty!”

“Her hair or just her in general?”

“Like those braids are super cute, the way her bangs frame her face- did you say something?”

“Oh, nothing at all.”

“Right, right…”

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**CRiegan:** care to make a wager?

**SNevrand:** No.

**SNevrand:** What is it?

**CRiegan:** how long it’ll take for Hilda to admit that she has the hots for the new assistant.

**SNevrand:** I’m going to need some time before deciding. How can you be so sure she’s really attracted to her though?

**CRiegan:** oh trust me, she does. 100% without question. ☆=(ゝω･)

\---------

**LPinelli:** Heya Ignatz, Raph and I will be heading out soon. We can pick up a roll to-go for you though, what would you like?

**IVictor:** actually, I can join you guys! Give me 5 minutes.

**LPinelli:** Really? Weren’t you meant to show that new girl the ropes?

**IVictor:** Actually, Hilda offered to. She said she’d be more than happy to get Marianne up to speed with everything we do here.

**LPinelli:** I’m sorry, did you say Hilda? As in Hilda Goneril? As in Hilda “you’re making me WORK” Goneril?

**IVictor:** I was surprised too. I guess she really wanted to get to know Marianne?

**LPinelli:** Well. We can discuss this more at the kebab place. Get your butt downstairs already! Haha

**IVictor:** Coming!

\---------

** Windbows Outlook **

_From: Marianne von Edmund_  
_To: Hilda Goneril_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: Help with Scanner_

Hello Hilda,

I’m sorry if you’re busy or anything like that but if you can, could you come help me with the scanner? I’ve been trying to scan some signed forms Nader gave me but I can’t figure out how to get it to send it to my email and it kept giving me error messages. 

If you’re free today, could you please let me know?

Thank you,

Marianne

_From: Hilda Goneril_  
_To: Marianne von Edmund_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: Re: Help with Scanner_

Hey Marianne,

No problem at all, I’ll pop over soon!

Just letting you know, I’m way more responsive on Skope if you wanna chat there from now on if you have any questions! Also if it’s urgent, you could call or message me at my work number 07-xxx-xxx.

\- Hilda

\---------

“Giving her your number already? How smooth.”

“CLAUDE! Holy shit, do not sneak up on me like that.”

“I just wanted to know what my desk buddy was getting all worked up over. I rarely see you in a state other than vegetative on a Wednesday. That is, if you even show up.”

“Oh come on, you are exaggerating.” The pink-haired girl pouted. 

Seteth bustled past their desks, carrying a crate of files. “Morning, Claude,” he greeted, “and Hilda, nice to see you in for once on ‘Hump Day’, as you crudely call it.”

Hilda’s jaw dropped. “Unbelievable, how little faith everyone here has in me… anyway, duty calls!”

“Off to rescue the fair Marianne again, I see,” he remarked with a grin.

“Nothing wrong with being helpful!” The intern strolled off in the direction of Marianne’s desk, missing how Claude was shaking his head fondly. “Helpful… or utterly helpless?” he mused, noting how Hilda’s eyes had been lighting up for the past week at any thought or mention of the shy new assistant.


	2. Upcoming Event Reminder: Hilda's Gay Panic, 2:00pm-4:00pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Actually, she’s still in the office. She’s in the printing room right now.”
> 
> Alois paused, looking confused. “Wait. She’s still here?”
> 
> “Yeah.”
> 
> “At 4:30 on a Friday?”
> 
> “A surprise, to be sure.”
> 
> “I definitely would have expected her to be... long _Gone-eril_ by now...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: 3H is!! so good for modern AUs!!! you can spam actual legit last names!!!
> 
> Also me: Cyril doesn't have a last name? Well fuck.

** Skope for Business **

**CCharon:** Lys!

**Lysithea:** Hi Catherine. Was there something you needed help with?

**CCharon:** Oh, nah. Nothing like that. Though thank you, you’ve been such a big help for me getting my laptop, phone, and everything set up.

**CCharon:** Reminded me of the good old days when you used to run around and help with laundry.

**Lysithea:** Just doing my job, haha. But I’m always happy to help you :)

**CCharon:** So the short of it is, I overheard my partner talking about a bet with some other people. And I wanted in!

**CCharon:** But I’m still new here so I don’t really know much about the going ons of this place. So I was wondering if you’d help me out for a cut of the winnings? If we put our brains together, we could totally win big!

**Lysithea:** Uh… what is this bet about?

**CCharon:** How long before Hilda admits she has a crush on Marianne.

**Lysithea:** is ‘never’ an option?

**CCharon:** What?

**Lysithea:** Hilda does shit like flirt with and compliment people all the time to get them to do favours for her. 

**Lysithea:** I did try to warn Marianne to avoid her, but…

**CCharon:** Really? Coz from what I’ve seen, it’s the exact opposite.

**Lysithea:** Wait, actually?

**CCharon:** Lys, you gotta come out of the server room once in a while lol! It’s been like 2 weeks of Hilda trailing after Marianne to help fix her problems.

**CCharon:** I’ve even seen her do stuff like fix the printer and scanner for her. Isn’t that more along the lines of your job? Haha

**Lysithea:** Please. That type of work is below me. I’ve been busy trying to upgrade the security of our systems in lieu of those recent cyber attacks.

**CCharon:** oh the thing you told me about? The Dark Slithers or whatever?

**Lysithea:** Those Who Slither in the Dark, yes. Hellman’s been up our ass, all paranoid because they’ve gone after Adestria Corp of all companies.

**Lysithea:** although Hilda fixing our equipment is a little… concerning. I’ll have to ask one of our junior assistants to assess if there’s any damage from her brutish strength.

**CCharon:** okay, okay. Also, thoughts on the bet??

**Lysithea:** oh right. Hilda’s not that dense and she tells Claude everything (I’m assuming Claude is part of this too???) so ask what he put and choose a day a little bit after that.

**CCharon:** Gotcha!

\---------

**CRiegan:** Garreg_Mach_Ltd_Income_Statement_200X.xlsx

**MCasagranda:** Hmm? Whatever is this old file for, Claude?

**CRiegan:** look in the 2nd sheet. And don’t tell Seteth. Or Lorenz

**MCasagranda:** oh, how juicy

**MCasagranda:** wait, even HANNEMAN is betting??? Does he think he even stands a chance??

**MCasagranda:** Anyway, I’ll put down 10 for the 19th.

\---------

“Claude!”

“Alois!”

“I won’t be in the office next week until Wednesday, would you mind holding on to these meeting minutes to give to Hilda when she comes back?”

“Actually, she’s still in the office. She’s in the printing room right now.”

Alois paused, looking confused. “Wait. She’s still here?”

“Yeah.”

“At 4:30 on a Friday?”

“A surprise, to be sure.”

“I definitely would have expected her to be... long _Gone-eril_ by now...”

“Ha! Clever. She’s just helping out the new assistant, Marianne. You get a chance to meet her yet?”

“Ah, yes, I ran into her the other day in the kitchen. Nice girl, but very soft-spoken.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the impression I got from her. I’d love to get to know her a bit more, but well… between you and me and-” he clicked his tongue, gesturing to the open spreadsheet, “- Hilda’s a bit protective over her. I don’t get why I’m so scrutinised, it’s not like I want to concoct some nefarious scheme this time. I just wanted to know what a girl like Marianne does for fun outside of work.”

“Oh, I see! Well, I _can_ say this. See, that day, she brought from home this absolutely delectable salad, and she’s telling me that she’s grown everything in that salad right in her uncle’s yard! When prompted further, she explained how she used to live on a farm with her parents and help out with caring for the crops and animals. Mostly the animals though."

“That is just about the most wholesome tea I’ve ever heard.”

“Right? She particularly adores horses, actually… She has this Picterest account just for her pet horse back home! Let me just-” Alois pulled out his phone, fumbling with it for a bit before- “Aha! Here it is - dortethehorse.” He tapped on the most recent photo of the white and grey speckled horse, posing in an open field with one leg in the air.

Claude took the phone from him, slowly swiping through the account’s gallery. “Aww, how adorable- wait. 50 million followers?!” He handed the device back, pulling out his own to open up his own Picterest account.

“Yeah. Is that good? I wasn’t sure, but Marianne seemed happy enough when I asked about it.”

“It’s… kind of nuts, actually. Ooh, speaking of, here are the ladies of the hour!” The assistant leapt from his chair, startling the two approaching women.

“What are you talking about? Oh, hey Alois,” Hilda greeted, giving Claude a perplexed look.

“Just popped over to hand you these for filing. See you next week!”

“Oh, thanks! See ya.”

“So Marianne…” Claude slowly rotated his phone for her to see, the girl’s face turning red as recognition dawned on her. “When were you going to tell us that you were Picterest famous?”

“Ah, please no,” she protested weakly. “I’m not famous, it’s just… Dorte’s really precious to me, so I started taking photos and posting them for fun…” her voice trailed off.

“Claude, stop embarrassing her,” Hilda scolded. “Leave her and her cute hobby alone!” At that remark, Marianne’s cheeks turned even more red.

“I’m sorry!” he said, putting his hands up in defeat. “It’s just really exciting to me. Hey, do you actually get like, sponsorship offers and stuff?”

“Claude!”

“... sometimes,” she admitted.

“That’s so cool.”

“But I’d never accept any,” Marianne said. “Like I said, the account is just for me and Dorte, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“You _and_ Dorte, huh? But it’s literally just pics of Dorte. I bet _certain_ people would love to see photos of Dorte and the face behind the camera,” Claude said, flashing a teasing grin at a now irritated and flustered Hilda.

“Oh, no, no, I couldn’t,” the assistant stammered out quickly. “There are a couple of pictures of my arm or hand reaching out or petting Dorte and I think that’s quite enough for me.”

“You don’t have to push yourself,” Hilda reassured. “Although, not gonna lie… I wouldn’t mind seeing photos of you with your horses.”

“Oh, well…” Marianne smiled. “I don’t mind if it’s just between us. I’ll bring in some polaroids my mum and dad took when they first got me Dorte.” She nodded at the two. “Um, I have to pack up and go soon. My uncle is waiting. We’re going back to the countryside for the weekend to visit my parents.” 

After they said their goodbyes for the weekend to a departing Marianne, Claude turned to his desk buddy. “So…” he began slyly.

“What?” Hilda asked, annoyed.

“How does it feel to have a social media influencer for a girlfriend?”

“You’re still on about that?” she groaned. “Honestly, you’re reading too much into this. I’m just trying to help her get used to things around here. It’s no big!”

“Mhm, right.”

“Only your mind would be twisted enough to reach this conclusion.”

Claude made no mention of the spreadsheet of bets he had been compiling. 

“Besides, I think Marianne is really coming into her new position,” Hilda said, pride in her voice. “So I won’t need to be doing more favours for her from now on.”

\---------

“Hilda, your stomach’s been performing its own symphony for the past half hour. Usually you’d take an early lunch by now. You good?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’m just… waiting for Marianne to come back.”

“Hmm? You guys going on a lunch date together?”

“No, nothing like that. Stop it!” Hilda frowned at him from across the desk. “She forgot her access pass this morning, and I had to go downstairs to convince the Gates dude to let her in-”

“Was that why when you answered your phone, all starry-eyed, you rushed out the door?”

“I don’t know if that’s exactly how I’d describe it, but yeah, she really needed help! So yeah, I’m sharing my pass with her today. She’s running errands at the post office right now.

“And she needed your pass to get back in. Right.” A comfortable silence fell between them, with only the mute sounds of typing and mouse clicking permeating through the air, when suddenly another growl interrupted them.

Claude tossed her his own pass. “Here. Get some food already.”

“Aw, thank you, esteemed desk buddy! But what about if you need to go out?”

“Then I’ll just swipe Lorenz’. We could make a whole game out of it. Musical lanyards,” he replied, laughing.

\---------

“You’re typing pretty furiously there…”

“Yeah, I’ve been spamming Leonie to go and process Marianne’s invoice she’s forwarded. The payment terms are net 7 days. NET SEVEN DAYS. I hate how bureaucratic our accounting process is,” she whined.

“That it is,” Claude agreed with a frown, mentally noting down the complaint for later. “Although… I thought you were trying to cut back on favours for Marianne?”

“Well, it’ll be more work and money for us if we end up paying it late.”

“I’m just saying…”

\---------

“Saw you head over to where Marianne was sitting. Another favour?”

“No!” Hilda said, petulant. “I was merely offering her yogurt. They were handing out free samples downstairs!” She gestured toward her own small carton in her hand.

“Ah, so you happened to pick up another one, just for her.”

“Yes… but it doesn’t mean _anything_. It was a friendly gesture. Just me being thoughtful to a friend.”

“Oh yeah? Then where’s mine?”

“Umm…” About to lick at the bottom of the yogurt lid, Hilda paused. “This is for you?” she tried weakly, pushing the yogurt over to a bemused Claude.

\---------

** Windbows Outlook **

_From: Lorenz Gloucester_  
_To: Leicester Corporation - Head Office_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: Company Policy - Relationships and PDA_

Hello all,

In light of recent anonymous reports, it is imperative that everyone in the company is aware of Leicester’s policy regarding relationships between office personnel as well as public displays of affection (or ‘PDA’ henceforth). To summarise Section 7.12 and 7.13, all employee-employee relationships must be formally reported to Human Resources, and PDA in the office must be kept to a minimum.

Kindest Regards,

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
Recruiter, Human Resources

\---------

** Skope for Business **

**CRiegan created a new group conversation with LGloucester, HGoneril, SNevrand, Lysithea, CGarreg**

**CRiegan:** alright, which one of you lovebirds was it? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Lysithea:** what the fuck is this for

**LGloucester:** My sentiments exactly, Lysithea. Is this regarding my latest memo, Claude?

**CRiegan:** ye

**LGloucester:** Well in that case, this chat is highly inappropriate. I will not be naming any names of the reported parties.

**CRiegan:** so they’re in this chat???

**LGloucester:** No comment.

**CRiegan:** lmaooo

**HGoneril:** Oh my god

**HGoneril:** for the last time Claude

**HGoneril:** I don’t have a thing for marianne

**CRiegan:** Who said anything about marianne?? Shes not even here??

**HGoneril:** Oh shit

**HGoneril:** Oh fuck

**HGoneril:** Forget i said anything

**Lysithea:** WAIT DOES THAT COUNT AS A CONFESSION

**CRiegan:** Patience, young one. We’ll get to that later.

**Lysithea:** don’t fucking call me that

**SNevrand:** I assume you meant to exclude Catherine as well as Marianne?

**Lysithea:** wait, Catherine?

**CRiegan:** ha well you see, I didn’t want the situation to be too embarrassing, just in case I was wrong.

**Lysithea:** then why are both Cyril and me in here?

**CRiegan:** Because I have no qualms about embarrassing the both of you

**Lysithea:** I hope u choke

**CGarreg:** same

**CRiegan:** same ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**CGarreg:** what

**SNevrand:** Anyway, it can’t have been me. Have you ever known me to be public with my feelings, or affectionate, Claude?

**CRiegan:** can’t say I have

**Lysithea:** so are you saying that… you and Catherine??

**SNevrand:** Ha. Not quite yet. We’ve both been up to our ears in contract work.

**SNevrand:** I hope so soon though, once these last few projects have been wrapped up.

**Lysithea:** Oh, well, congratulations and good luck.

**CRiegan:** understandable have a nice day

**CRiegan:** anyway, moving on to our youngest lovebirds. I’ve sensed something between you two for the past year or so… ;)

**Lysithea:** Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t be more wrong.

**CGarreg:** Can’t have been us. We put it in writing to HR ages ago

**Lysithea:** CYRIL

**CGarreg:** Oh, didja still want to keep it a secret? I’m sorry Lysithea. You just make me so bappy.

**CGarreg:** happy* dammit

**Lysithea:** aww. I’m bappy too! <3

**CRiegan:** lmao okay enough of that, y’all making me feel lonely and shit

**Lysithea:** good.

**CRiegan:** and then there was one… Hilda? Any words?

**HGoneril:** Y’all wildin’ if you think Marianne and I are together! 

**LGloucester:** Oh, you aren’t? My apologies then, Hilda.

**HGoneril:** .

**HGoneril:** WHAT???

**HGoneril:** WHO SAID THAT??

**HGoneril:** I swear to god, Claude, if it was you…

**LGloucester:** It was several people, actually. Including me, I must admit.

**HGoneril:** Huh?? How? When? Is it coz I like hugging Marianne whenever I say hi or bye? 

**Lysithea:** uhhh

**HGoneril:** or holding her hand whenever she’s having a stressful day??

**SNevrand:** not really helping your case there, kid.

**HGoneril:** Like, I wouldn’t say I’m opposed to the idea but

**HGoneril:** nooo I didn’t meant to hit send

**CRiegan:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**HGoneril:** Okay, just ignore me. I’m going to launch myself off this building now.

**HGoneril left the conversation.**

\---------

**CRiegan:** hey, thanks for going along with it

**CRiegan:** and for getting that proposal on your dad’s desk

**LGloucester:** Well, I don’t mind indulging in your schemes, so long as I can agree with it.

**LGloucester:** That goes for both your business plan and your somewhat ridiculous plan for Hilda and Marianne, by the way.

**CRiegan:** I feel like this is the most you’ve agreed with me for the past two years we’ve worked together, Lorenz

**CRiegan:** you feeling okay, buddy??

**LGloucester:** Oh shush. 

**LGloucester:** Perhaps I am feeling a little sentimental, all things considering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why would Lorenz be feeling sentimental? Who will win the bet? Find out next time on Hilda's Gay Panic (novelised)!


	3. Is Ending Your Mutual Pine Fest an Appropriate Going Away Gift?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holiday spirit is in the air! Yet not everyone is chipper about it, what with the clock ticking to wrap up end-of-year business, and last-minute gift shopping for a coworker you barely talk to. Will the end of the year bring about the start of something new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last part is longer than I expected it to be, and it took longer than I anticipated. Mostly real life and partly Sacred Stones got in the way of things. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy ^^ I have plans to somewhat expand this universe in the future, involve the other two houses somehow.

** Skope for Business **

**HGoneril:** Hey where’d you go?  
**HGoneril:** Nevermind lol, Alois told me. Another meeting with Mr. CEO? Really?  
**HGoneril:** You’re not in trouble are you? He didn’t find out about the pen cap incident right?  
**HGoneril:** So it just occurred to me that you might have left Skype open while giving a presentation, so uh… that last message was only a joke, Mr. Gloucester. Swear it!

\--------

“Oh, Hilda, you crack me up.”

“Yeah, not my finest moment,” she replied, laughing sheepishly. “Seriously though, nothing majorly bad happened right?”

“Nah, you know how anti-tech Mr. Gloucester is. Had to give my presentation on the white board.” He shook his head, pouting rather dramatically. “Sadly my CrestPoint star transitions couldn’t be incorporated, but at least you were spared from leaking your salacious DM’s to me.”

“Oh Claude, _shush!_” Hilda gave him the best stink eye she could muster while trying not to laugh.

“Why? Wouldn’t want a certain blue-haired, doe-eyed assistant overhearing us?” he questioned innocently.

Hilda flushed scarlet. “Nooo. More like my brother would get the wrong idea, and either start planning the wedding, or try and give you the shovel talk and relegate you to be the office coffee mule for the rest of the year. Depends on his thoughts about you currently, really.”

“Well, judging from his approval in our last meeting, I’d say the wedding is more likely,” he replied, eyes twinkling. “What a shame though; I would have enjoyed being bossed around by your brother like that. Kachow!”

“... What. What was that?”

“Y’know, like a whip sound, _kachow_.” He accompanied the noise with a whipping motion with his hands.

“Whips don’t sound like that. They make more of a _psshew_ sound.” She mimicked the motion Claude made earlier. “_Psshew!_”

“Hilda, that sounds absolutely pathetic,” he said, laughing. “Full force whipping is where it’s at. _Kachow_!”

“I’m telling you, no whip, full force or otherwise, sounds like _kachow_,” she said, starting to look angry. “_Kachow_ sounds more like something a car would make, or something.”

“And how would you know what a whip does or doesn’t sound like, hmm? You must have heard a rather large sample size of whip noises to know, either in person or not. I won’t judge either way.” He grinned.

“Not as large as yours, you kinky fu-” She saw a flash of orange out of the corner of her eye, and turned to the side to face a rather perturbed Leonie. “Oh. Hey Leonie,” she greeted, trying to keep her tone light and casual even though she was internally screaming.

“I was going to ask you about this series of invoices you processed for Nader but-” she looked between the two of them, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll let you wrap up your conversation with Claude first.” She walked back to the Accounting department quickly, all too glad to put some distance between her and Hilda and Claude. The two desk buddies stared at each other, wide-eyed, before bursting into gut-busting laughter.

“Forget about our DMs, Marianne and Holst would absolutely have heart attacks if they ever heard any of that,” Claude said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Definitely,” she agreed. “If even _Leonie_ was shaken up by it…”

Claude cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "Anyway, about that meeting this morning…" His voice sounded hesitant, for once. "I have something to tell you, but… you have to _swear_ it won't leave this desk, okay? Not for now, at least."

\--------

** Skope for Business **

**CRiegan:** hey Shamir, what sound do you think is closer to what a whip makes? Kachow or Psshew?  
**SNevrand:** Please do not drag me into your petty arguments with Goneril.  
**SNevrand:** Besides.  
**CRiegan:** besides?  
**SNevrand:** Isn’t it a bad time to be arguing with her in the first place?  
**CRiegan:** why, whatever do you mean?? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)  
**SNevrand:** Well, it’s nearing Christmas time, is it not?  
**CRiegan:** oh, Shamir, you and I both know acting coy isn’t your thing (ゝω･)  
**SNevrand:** I suppose not. But neither is declaring outright that I’m privy to company secrets I shouldn’t be.

\--------

** Windbows Outlook **  
_From: Seteth Cichol (on behalf of Hellman Gloucester)_  
_To: Leicester Corporation - Head Office, Leicester Corporation - Merceus_  
_Subject: Important Changes to Leicester Corporation_

Dear All,

I'm delighted to inform you all about the recent developments regarding our company that will further enhance and enrich the company experience for all employees. In our goal to provide the best and most efficient service to our valued clients and achieving day-to-day operational excellence in our service delivery, I am pleased to announce the following organisational changes to our Head Office effective immediately.

Firstly, we have come to the decision to merge the Legal, Risk, and Procurement departments into one team to streamline processes such as client/vendor background checks, board reporting, and contract and policy review. All former members of each of the aforementioned departments will report to Judith von Daphnel, head of the now Legal, Risk, and Procurement department. 

To further streamline our service delivery processes, we have created a separate inbox, “Accounts Enquiry” for invoice payment and accounting report followup. “Accounts” will be kept for invoice processing **only**; any followup enquiries must be sent to “Accounts Enquiry”.

In addition to this, I am proud to announce that Leicester Corporation has entered into a definitive agreement to enter into a joint venture with Almyra Pty Ltd. This process is expected to close at the end of the second quarter next year. 

Almyra Pty Ltd. is an established risk management firm focusing on providing consultant advice and facilities management services to corporate clients, much like our own business. We believe that with this new affiliation and partnership, as well as Almyra’s network of corporate relationships and assistance in strategy and execution can help our company grow and expand the business in select countries and markets.

Our very own Nader Nardel will be heading the joint venture operation and thus will be leaving Leicester’s head office next year. We thank Nader for his wonderful years of service and commend him for stepping up to help our business with our newfound relationship and growth endeavours.

We shall be sending out more communications over the next few days; in the meantime, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out to your regional management team.

Kind regards,  
Hellman Gloucester  


\--------

** Skope for Business **

**RKirsten:** gratz Claude! I haven’t heard much about the Almyra deals, but I knew you were involved with it somehow. Awesome work! :D  
**CRiegan:** thanks buddy! glad for your support  
**RKirsten:** kind of sad to see Nader go tho, right? I mean, you were probably the closest to him other than maybe Judith. you gonna organise a farewell party for him? I know it’s getting close to the xmas one, but hey two parties are better than one, as my sis always says!  
**CRiegan:** I’ll… figure out something, don’t you worry (*・∀-)

\--------

**Hanneman:** I just forwarded you a list of all the programs and cloud services currently used by Almyra. The bad news is that there isn’t much overlap with what we use. The good news is… well you always did like a challenge, didn’t you?  
**Lysithea:** That I do, Hanneman. That I do.  
**Hanneman:** I’d hate to encourage your overly diligent lifestyle, but I’m letting you know that the office will still be open for most of the shutdown period if you want a head start on integrating our current systems with Almyra’s.  
**Lysithea:** Sadly I’m being dragged back home for the holidays. After New Year’s, though, I’m all yours.

\--------

“So, Marianne, how’re you finding the job so far?” Leonie said, in between bites of her sandwich. She, Marianne, Hilda, and Lysithea were seated together in the break room for once; though Hilda usually preferring to go out for lunches with Claude or her brother, and Lysithea and Marianne usually eating at their desks, Leonie dragged them all together for a combined lunch and party budget planning session which quickly devolved into a three-way argument over unnecessary food items and decorations. 

“Oh, it’s fine I guess,” Marianne replied quietly, methodically mixing in vinaigrette with her salad. “It’s pretty busy, but the people are nice… well, mostly.”

“Mostly? What-” She turned to her other side when Lysithea dragged the legal pad toward herself and scribbled something down. Frowning at the list, Leonie said, “Lysithea, we’re not ordering a croquembouche for the party. Are you out of your mind?”

“Marianne?” Hilda prompted, causing the girl to pause and look up from her mixing. “Anyone giving you a hard time?”

“Um… not really. There was this one man who I think comes in from the Merceus office sometimes who’s quite… well, he’s very...”

“Maurice?” Leonie asked. At the blue-haired woman’s nod, she continued, “Screw him, he’s a jerk. Always wanting us to do EFT payments at his beck and call.”

“Just say the word, Marianne, and I’ll deck him for you,” Hilda said, half-joking.

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. I’m sure he was just stressed, trying to get everything wrapped up before the shutdown period.”

“Well, we’re in the same boat here, and you don’t see me mouthing off to people,” Lysithea said, oblivious to the pointed looks the other three shared. “Now, Christmas puddings… maybe three will be enough, but we’ll order five just in case.”

“Lysithea, _no_. You get _this_ much for your designated sweets budget.” She tapped at a figure on the pad with her pen. “Anything other than that you’re welcome to bake and bring in from home, or get others to, but this is how much you can spend from the party budget.”

“Hmph, fine.”

“Now onto decorations. I’m fine with reusing the ones you made last year, Hilda, if that’s cool with you. But if you wanted to go with something else...”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Hilda replied. “They should all hold up well too, even after a year. I don’t skimp on materials, after all.”

Marianne looked over at her, intrigued. “You made party decorations?”

“She sure did,” Holst boomed out as he approached the table, startling the girls. “Hilda is so talented at designing things! Everything she’s made for me to wear, I wear with pride. Look at what she made for me for Secret Santa a few years ago!” He proudly shook his arms, brandishing the pair of pink rose cufflinks he currently wore.

“Wow, those really _are_ beautiful,” Marianne said, beaming at Hilda. “I’m looking forward to seeing the decorations now.”

“Oh?” Hilda didn’t have a mirror handy, but she was certain her face turned as pink as her brother’s cufflinks, judging by Lysithea’s wry, knowing smile. “Well, I’m sure there are some pictures from last year that got circulated around. I can dig them up for you if you’d like.”

Marianne hummed thoughtfully. “I think I’d like to keep it a surprise for now.”

“Are you joining in on Secret Santa, Marianne, Holst?” Lysithea asked, looking between the two of them.

“Oh. I haven’t really thought about it. I’m still kind of new, so…”

“Well, I’m not, unfortunately. In fact, I’m not going to the party at all,” Holst declared, looking regretful at his words.

“What? Why not?” Hilda asked, confused.

“While I’d love to have a chance to see my dear sister’s handiwork once more, admittedly last year’s party brings back… bad memories.”

Hilda sighed. “Oh, not this again. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you got food poisoning from that dingy burger joint rather than at that party?”

“I still maintain that it was a terrible experience that puts me off the combination of eggnog and fluorescent lights to this day,” he insisted.

\--------

** Windbows Outlook **  
  
_Manuela Casagranda_  
_Subject: Xmas Party_  
_Required: Claude von Riegan, Hilda Goneril, Leicester Corporation - Head Office_  
_When: 22nd XX, 4:30-8:30pm_  
_Location: Head Office Conference Room 2-3_

Hello wonderful people,

As you’re all aware, the office shutdown period is nearly upon us; but right before that we'd like to end the year with a (figurative) bang!

Food and drink will be provided but please feel free to bring your own. No theme, dress as festively/casually as you’d like but remember: no shoes, no shirt, no service!

Additionally, if you wish to join in on the Secret Santa fun, please fill out the form sent out by Claude or Hilda earlier in the week. The deadline for this will be tomorrow, so don’t miss out!

In light of previous years’ events, Seteth (not me) would like to inform you of the following, ever growing list of regulations for the party:  
\- no hard liquors allowed  
\- no mistletoe hangings allowed  
\- no hanging upside down from the rafters  
\- no trying to crawl through air vents to reenact Die Hard  
\- additionally, no violent fighting or arguments about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not  
\- plus ones must RSVP a week before the party. Note that plus ones are restricted to one person per invitee only, not plus-16s (looking at you, Claude, no matter how much I enjoyed partying with the Black Eagles)  
\- sadly, All I Want For Christmas Is You will be allowed to play only ONCE. So belt it out and make it count, I know I will ;)

Thanks all,

Manuela

\--------

** Skope for Business **

**HGoneril:** You circulated your half yet, desk buddy?  
**CRiegan:** lmao no  
**CRiegan:** I’m trying to figure out the most chaotic pairings without compromising yours  
**HGoneril:** oh? You’re specifically rigging it for me? (*・∀-)☆  
**CRiegan:** you know it, desk buddy (*・∀-)☆  
**HGoneril:** We on for lunch at 12?  
**CRiegan:** ah no, sorry. Forgot to tell you that I gotta sit down with Judith and Nader for the rest of the day.  
**HGoneril:** Oh haha don't worry then  
**HGoneril:** I'll go bother Lysithea or something. She always brings the best sweets in from home.

\--------  
**Windbows Outlook**

_From: Claude von Riegan_  
_To: Hilda Goneril, Ignatz Victor, Leonie Pinelli, Raphael Kirsten, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Marianne von Edmund, Lysithea von Ordelia, Shamir Nevrand, Catherine Charon, Hanneman von Essar, Manuela Casagranda_  
_Cc: _  
_Subject: Secret Santa_

Hey guys,

By now you should have received a separate email link from either me or Hilda with the name of your Secret Santa recipient. Drop us a DM if you have any questions that aren’t “Who is my Secret Santa?” or “Can I switch mine for a different person?”

Thanks,

Claude

\--------

** Skope for Business **

**HGoneril:** WHAT THE HELL CLAUDE  
**CRiegan:** oh, even *youre* mad at me? damn, I definitely did some damage this year  
**HGoneril:** you gave me Raphael???? Wtf  
**HGoneril:** and you're not even physically here rn for me to throttle you!  
**CRiegan:** ??? I gave you the easiest person to buy for, just like last year. What’s the problem?  
**HGoneril:** I guess I was expecting someone else. I really should be more specific when it comes to you 凸(｀△´＋）  
**CRiegan:** and what exactly were your expectations?  
**HGoneril:** Oh, you know.  
**CRiegan:** I know?  
**HGoneril:** … Marianne okay. I wanted to be Marianne’s Secret Santa. And maybe through the spirit of Christmas, and the dreaded combination of eggnog and fluoro lights could I pluck up the courage to admit my feelings for her and ask her out on a date  
**CRiegan:** I KNEW IT  
**HGoneril:** Oh shush. What am I going to do now????  
**CRiegan:** Y’know, it’s not like you can’t give her a gift as well anyway.  
**HGoneril:** Yeah, yeah, but that’s a little weirder if I single her out that way.  
**CRiegan:** Just get gifts for everyone then as a cover up.  
**HGoneril:** Yeah, no thanks.  
**CRiegan:** Alright, just me and Marianne then.  
**HGoneril:** Lol nice try. Besides, even so, it’ll still be weird. I was planning on putting… considerably more effort in her present.  
**CRiegan:** Ooh, back to your crafting?  
**HGoneril:** Yeah. It’s been a while hasn’t it?  
**CRiegan:** It has  
**CRiegan:** Would it be considerably less weird with a grand confession to accompany her gift?  
**HGoneril:** No!! Ugh, I don’t know. I need to think more about this.  
**CRiegan:** alright, alright, I’ll leave you be.  
**CRiegan:** One last thing though  
**HGoneril:** What?  
**CRiegan:** who’s my secret santa? ☆=(ゝω･)  
**CRiegan:** no don’t go offline!! Come back o（ｉДｉ）o

\--------

**Lysithea:** so like hypothetically… if you got your cousin's girlfriend as your recipient… would you have to buy another present for when she's coming to spend christmas break at your grandparents' place?  
**CGarreg:** This is an oddly specific problem and now I know who you have.  
**Lysithea:** I know you can keep a secret, I’m not worried :)  
**CGarreg:** Want me to come shopping with you this weekend? I may know a thing or two about what Shamir might want. I work under her after all.  
**Lysithea:** Yes, please <3

\--------

**MCasagranda:** I’m just going to ask outright: you got me again, right?  
**Hanneman:** Manuela! That’s rather audacious of you. Where is your Christmas spirit?  
**Hanneman:** But yes, I do. I presume you got me again?  
**MCasagranda:** yes. Sometimes I want to strangle von Riegan.  
**Hanneman:** Exchange brandies and call it a day?  
**MCasagranda:** fine by me.

\--------

**CRiegan created a new group conversation with Lysithea, Hanneman, MCasagranda, LPinelli, SNevrand, CCharon, and RKirsten**  
**CRiegan:** betting pool participants!  
**CRiegan:** it’s time to dry yourself off and get rid of those finger prunes because we have a winner!  
**CRiegan:** hildagay.png  
**CRiegan:** note the timestamp, the outright statement of infatuation, of romantic admiration… or perhaps, even more than that  
**Lysithea:** get on with it  
**CRiegan:** alright.  
**CRiegan:** congrats to Hanneman!  
**MCasagranda:** goddess fucking damn it

\--------

**MEdmund:** Claude?  
**CRiegan:** oh? some rare correspondence from Marianne? to what do I owe the pleasure?  
**MEdmund:** … thank you.  
**CRiegan:** yeah, no problem. use this power wisely (*・∀-)☆

\--------

**Windbows Outlook**  
<strike>Subject: Farewell Drinks with Nader</strike> CANCELLED  
Required: Leicester Corporation - Head Office  
When: 23rd XX, 6:00-9:30pm  
Location: Merceus Cidery

Subject: Farewell Drinks with Nader and Claude  
Required: Leicester Corporation - Head Office  
When: 23rd XX 6:00-9:30pm  
Location: Merceus Cidery

\--------

** Skope for Business **

**IVictor:** Claude! I can’t believe you’re leaving us as well :( I’m going to miss you!  
**CRiegan:** I’ll miss you too, Ignatz. Was always great talking shop with you, exchanging gossip under the table. But who knows. Maybe I’ll eventually find my back to the head office again ☆=(ゝω･)

\--------

**CCharon:** von Riegan! You’re really gonna leave your old pupil behind?  
**CRiegan:** I’ve taught you everything you needed to know, young grasshopper. now it’s your turn to impart wisdom to the next generation  
**CCharon:** Ha! For real though, I’m gonna miss you. 

\--------

**LGloucester:** If you think you adding your name as an addendum to someone else’s farewell event counts as an official statement of farewell, you’re greatly overestimating the comprehension abilities of the entire head office.  
**CRiegan:** now don’t get all huffy, Lorenz, I’ll write up a few words later today. Besides, everyone who needs to know knows already.  
**LGloucester:** Particularly, a pink-haired desk buddy of yours who has a penchant for ignoring the subject line of event invitations?  
**CRiegan:** Hilda was among the first I told, even before it was “official” official. When I was still on the fence about actually taking the job.  
**CRiegan:** She’s the one that convinced me to take the job actually. But I think she doesn’t like talking about it. Or thinking about it much.  
**LGloucester:** I understand. You guys have been best friends for several years now. It will be a big change for both of you, in vastly different ways. She will miss you greatly.  
**CRiegan:** I know, I know. I’ll talk to her after work today.

\--------

Another lunch spent by herself, and the overwhelmingly empty, aching feeling in her chest compelled Hilda to indulge in one of her favourite stress-relieving pastimes: “borrowing” way too many items from the stationery cabinet. 

Idly wondering how many highlighters she could take without it looking suspicious, she paused outside of the photocopy room where the cabinet was located, hearing a raised voice. “Why can’t you get it done _today_?! I need it _today_.”

“I’m sorry, sir, I…” Hilda’s eyes widened. The one being yelled at was Marianne! She walked into the room, glaring at the familiar, balding man pestering the blue-haired assistant.

“Stop _mumbling_ your excuses, and look me in the eye,” the man barked. Forget strict and stressed. Maurice was downright cruel. “I emailed you, saying that I approved for this to be paid like what? A week ago? And the insurance company’s been badgering me, saying no payment was received.” He waved a piece of paper in front of her face, Marianne’s eyes flicking back and forth, trying to read the invoice. “I shouldn’t have to come here every time there’s a problem-”

Hilda marched forward and snatched the paper from his clenched hand, smoothing out the wrinkles. “Excuse me.” 

“Who the hell are you?” Maurice asked angrily. Hilda ignored him, her gaze flickering toward Marianne, who, delightedly, sagged with relief. Sticking out her tongue as she read through the invoice, she finally said, “Yeah, this isn’t for us. This is a workers’ compensation insurance fee, and our department doesn’t handle this. Besides, any invoice that has 7 day payment terms should be directed to accounting anyway.”

“Are you as incompetent as her?” he spat. “Look at who it’s addressed to. Von Edmund.”

Hilda squinted at the top of the page. “Edmund… von Edmund?” She turned to Marianne. “Is that your uncle that I heard about? Is he really named _Edmund_ von Edmund?”

Marianne’s lips quirked up at that, but she bit back her smile and turned to Maurice. “Yes. Edmund von Edmund was the head of HR in the Merceus office, where you work, sir. Apologies for the misunderstanding, but he actually left a few weeks back. I’m sure if you-”

“So you knew it wasn’t even for you,” he interjected, furious, “and you still led me on a wild goose chase here?”

“With all due respect, sir,” Marianne said, looking him in the eye rather defiantly, “I didn’t lead you to do anything. Maybe it would’ve been better to ask around in your office first?”

“Well, maybe it would’ve been better to hire literally anyone else for your job,” he said snidely. “Seeing as how you got in due to nepotism and all.”

Something in her snapped; Hilda affixed him with the meanest glare she could muster. “Newsflash, genius! We _all_ got our roles due to nepotism! This is a really fucking old company. My father worked here, my brother works here, and so do I. Marianne’s uncle worked here, so does she. Does it matter when at the end of the day, Marianne is capable of doing her job, unlike someone who is too blind to realise he’s sending things to the wrong person? Imagine if you sent correspondence to Mr. CEO himself that was intended for Lorenz. You’d be laughed out of the building.” She smirked.

“Whatever. I’ll go to Accounting,” he spat. “Might as well get _someone_ capable of helping me.” He marched off, Hilda glaring a hole in his back and gleefully hoping Leonie would give him hell again. Marianne collapsed onto her knees, looking winded.

“You okay?” Hilda joined her, taking both her hands, lightly running her thumb against the knuckles of her hands.

“Yeah, I…” She shook her head a little. “being around him is emotionally draining.”

“Tell me about it. He’s been such a menace ever since he joined the Merceus office last year.”

“I… thank you for coming to my rescue,” Marianne said quietly. “You’ve always been a big help to me, Hilda. I wish I could do the same for you.”

How could Hilda put in words that Marianne _has_ helped her, in her own little ways, by giving her a new purpose in life, new companionship, something to look forward to in these eight-hour bore-fests?

“Just being your friend is enough,” Hilda said simply.

“You really think I’m capable, though? I’ve asked you for favours or help pretty much every other day that I’ve worked here,” she said, giggling.

“You’ve only been here a few months, Marianne,” she assured her. “It takes way more than that to get used to all the inner workings of Leicester.”

“Oh, well that’s good to know.” 

The two sat there for a few moments in silence, backs against the warm, humming printer. “So,” Marianne began.

“So?” Hilda repeated.

“I saw that event invite today, and then the other one that replaced it. Am I correct in thinking…” She hesitated.

“That Claude is leaving? Yeah,” she said with a sigh.

“Oh. I didn’t really get the chance to talk with him as much as with you, but I know you two are very close.” She bit her lip. “And…”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve noticed that you seemed subdued, in your own way, I mean, for the past few weeks or so. He told you this before today, right?”

Hilda nodded.

“I’ve also noticed Claude being busy lately, so you weren’t able to go to lunch with him all the time, like you used to. But I’ve also seen that even on the days he can wiggle out of meetings, you still disappear, even before he gets the chance to join you. I know you don’t want him to go, but are you… mad at him?”

She mulled over Marianne’s words for a bit, trying to find the words to capture the whirlwind of feelings she felt ever since Claude’s whisperings to her about the job offer. Perhaps the only way to do so was to start from the very beginning. 

“Claude used to work for Almyra,” she began, “about four years ago. He decided to join our company to expand his horizons, broaden his experience, pad his resume a little, as he always said.” She laughed a little at that. “Around the same time, I joined as well, after chickening out of starting an accessory business for the third time; my father suggested he could put in a good word for me to find a temporary job, just to keep me afloat while I could properly plan for my future…” Of course, it turned out to be a more permanent, long term thing than she thought it would originally be. 

“We’ve been desk buddies for the longest time, and probably will be metaphorical desk buddies for life. No matter what happens, or how much we annoy each other sometimes, we always have each other’s back. That’s why when he told me about the new job, and that he was still deciding whether he wanted to go, I told him he had to take it.” She shook her head. “Claude, he… he’s always had his own ambitions. He’s always been a risk-taker, he’s not afraid of change, or responsibilities, or failure, like me.”

“I think everyone is at least a little bit afraid of change,” Marianne said, looking contemplative. “But it’s not always a bad thing, even if it seems bad at first.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, smiling. "I thought, when my parents practically begged me to move away from our backwater town to get a job and live with my uncle in the big, scary city, I thought I wouldn't have been able to cope, that I couldn't do anything right, in the typical Marianne fashion. I had a lot of bad luck with work in the past," she admitted, abashed. "But then I met you, and got to know you… well, got to know a lot of kind people in this office," she added hastily. "And it was unexpectedly nice…"

“I feel the same way,” Hilda replied, “I love talking and hanging out with you!”

“I’m happy to hear that.” The sudden loud _thunk_ and whirring of the printer coming to life behind them startled them both, drawing Hilda out of the relaxed, cloying stupor she felt whenever in the presence of Marianne. “Uh, I better go back,” she said, “since my lunch hour is over. Hey, maybe I’ll be able to catch the tail end of Leonie tearing that prick a new one.”

“Oh, right. I better go too. And, um, Hilda?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re capable of more than you believe. You’re so brave, and helpful, you… you shouldn’t be afraid to take more risks. So um, go for it.”

“Go for it?” she questioned, startled. Did she _know_ somehow?

“Yes, go for it. Whatever is holding you back. I believe in you.”

Those last words ran through her head for the rest of the day, even as she walked down to the local bar to catch up with Claude.

“So, here’s your order of ‘Surprise Me’,” Claude slid up in the stool next to her, handing her a nondescript drink in a shot glass.

“And thank _you_ for graciously putting it on your tab,” she replied, flashing him a mischievous smile.

“Yeah, yeah.” Waving his hand dismissively, he downed his own glass. “Feels like forever since we’ve done this.”

“Well, I’ve been avoiding this place, ever since that one Happy Hour went south a few months back.” She grimaced as she downed her shot.

“Not just going out for drinks. Lunches too, and just… talking,” he said after deliberating on the final word. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, with all this. You’re not the delicate flower you claim you are, but… well, I’m not entirely happy with not having you greet me every day.”

“Excuse me, I am _very much_ a delicate flower and I won’t stand for this slander,” she scoffed out, pretending to be affronted. “But yeah, I have been bummed at the news lately. I’ll miss having you around, but I’m proud of my desk buddy moving on up in the world. It’s an end of an era, but… a necessary one.” She sighed, playing with the rim of her shot glass. 

“Mm, well put. So, what’s in the cards for you in the next era, Ms. Goneril?” His tone was light, but Hilda’s known for a long time how to recognise the subtle cues clueing her in to Claude’s feelings, how his shoulders sagged slightly with relief, no longer tense.

“Well, in the midst of filing away reports and purchase orders for Legal today, I may have taken a short recess for browsing the web-”

“A short break as defined by you, or as defined by someone like… oh, I don’t know- Cyril?”

“Details, details.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I figured, after having some wisdom imparted onto me, it may be time for me to try moving on up in the world too. I’m going to apply to night classes for art and business when the next semester starts - finally get my accessory business up and running.”

“Hilda, that’s amazing news!” he exclaimed, eyes sparkling. He signalled to the bartender for more drinks, requesting their usual orders. “You’ve wanted to get it running for so long. And hey, if you ever need any study tips… well neither of those fields has ever been my area of expertise, but I can channel my inner Spirit Week cheerleader at your beck and call.”

“Hard pass, but I appreciate the sentiment,” she said, laughing.

He clinked his glass against hers. “Desk buddies for life?”

“You know it.”

“Marianne’s totally free to take my spot though. I’m willing to make an exception for her.”

“Claude, please.”

“You know what would make a great going away present for me? Having my dearest, bestest friend, my desk buddy for life, confess to the gal of her dreams.”

Hilda did not even dignify that with a response other than rolling her eyes and signalling for a refill on her cosmopolitan.

\--------

** Windbows Outlook **

_From: Claude von Riegan_  
_To: Leicester Corporation - Head Office_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: My Departure_

Friends and Comrades alike,

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my departure from Leicester Corp, effective January next year. I will be moving on to the new merger with Almyra Corp, heading as their Risk Advisory Manager.

I've shared many a laugh and more cries than I'd freely admit, working with such amazing people. It's entirely possible that you, dear reader of this email, and I won't cross paths again, but we'll see what the future will hold for us (Kidding, mostly. I'll pop in for visits from time to time!)

Thanks all,

Claude

\--------

** Skope for Business **

**MEdmund:** Lysithea?  
**Lysithea:** Yeah, Marianne?  
**MEdmund:** I know you said not to ask you stupid questions or requests but… this is something important.  
**Lysithea:** Normally I’d decline, but I’m in a bappy mood, so fire away.  
**MEdmund:** bappy?  
**Lysithea:** never mind. What is it?  
**MEdmund:** is there a way to print on post-it notes using the office printers?  
**Lysithea:** Printing? What’s wrong with writing it down?  
**MEdmund:** I’d rather explain this in person… where are you?  
**Lysithea:** where I usually am. Come on over, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you

\--------

Hilda watched bashfully, a warm sensation fluttering in her heart, as Marianne marvelled in the decor of the conference room. It always made her happy to see others enjoy her own specially-made creations, but Marianne’s reactions were especially important to her.

“These snowflakes are amazing!” the blue-haired girl gasped, dressed in a long blue dress in a style not dissimilar to her office garb, but stunning on her nonetheless. “They each have different patterns to the rest as well.”

“Yeah, I was inspired by real life. Science and all that,” Hilda garbled out. Thankfully, she was saved from embarrassing herself further by Lorenz approaching them, wrapped gifts in hand.

“Merry Christmas, Marianne. Merry Christmas, Hilda,” he greeted graciously, handing over one each, before sweeping across the room to greet more partygoers crowding the snacks table.

Marianne looked between her and Hilda’s boxes, confused. “Was… was I meant to get a gift for everyone?” she asked nervously. “Or did Lorenz accidentally draw two names somehow for Secret Santa?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” she reassured. “Just Lorenz being his extra self. He gives presents to everyone every year, says it’s his obligation as the heir to Leicester Corp to spread holiday cheer to each and every person in the company. It’s rather nice of him, though.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of him,” she replied.

Much of the holiday party was spent sipping eggnog and crunching on sugar cookies hastily whipped up by Lysithea, watching in amusement as Manuela monopolised the Bluetooth speakers, swaying side to side as she crooned out the next saccharine Christmas ballad on the playlist. Finally came the time for Claude to call out and gather the Secret Santa recipients to one corner of the conference room. Hilda’s heart thrummed in anticipation; she had two gifts at the ready, one for Secret Santa and one she resolved to give Marianne later on in the party, when they could get a moment alone.

“Wow, thanks a bunch, Hilda!” Raphael exclaimed as she handed him a gift basket full of various jams, cheese, and chutney. “Funny how you got me this year again, huh?”

“Yes,” Manuela said, looking pointedly between Hanneman and a deceptively innocent Claude, “how funny.”

“Thanks, I appreciate this,” Shamir said, after inspecting the paintball voucher for two that Lysithea handed her. “Now who to pick for my plus-one?” she mused.

“Ooh, me, pick me!” Catherine chimed in, hugging her girlfriend from behind and planting her chin on her shoulder. Shamir sighed in mock exasperation and replied, “I suppose _you’ll_ do,” yet her tone was more light and breezy than annoyed.

More gifts were exchanged; Leonie handed Lysithea a retro-looking pastry cookbook that was lauded by the culinary world for its modern take on traditional recipes, and in turn received a toy crossbow with foam arrows from Claude. Marianne carefully tore open a neatly wrapped gift from Ignatz, revealing a birdhouse painted with a gorgeous abstract, tesseract design of a forest filled with birds. Most of the surrounding group teared up as Raphael gifted Ignatz new personalised stationery and business cards showing off his new position title as part of the marketing and design department, a piece of information that was news to even Ignatz (news that Raphael heard from a little bird, a certain little, purple bird from HR).

“Me next?” Hilda teased, looking around expectantly, eyes widening as Marianne stepped forward. She shot Claude a look, who winked at her in return. _You sly, sly dog, Claude_.

“Um, I was your Secret Santa, Hilda,” she began, “But I kind of want to give my gift to you in private. If everyone doesn’t mind, that is.”

“What?!” Lysithea and Manuela both cried, as Claude clapped them both on the backs, as more of a warning than anything else, saying, “Absolutely fine, go for it.” He raised her eyebrows at Hilda, beckoning for all the details afterward. The others in the Secret Santa group murmured in agreement, looking at both of them expectantly. 

“Uh, okay then…” Leading to Hilda taking Marianne by the hand and ushering her out of the conference room to somewhere more private, away from prying eyes and ears. The printing room was private enough, and thankfully unlocked… and maybe a small part of Hilda had also chosen that room as it was the room where it had all began.

“I actually had a gift for you too!” she blurted out as she closed the door. Marianne stared back at her, surprised, cheeks tinged pink. “But you can go first, if you want.” Hilda gestured toward her graciously, jewellery case in her coat pocket weighing a little heavier.

“A gift? For me?” Marianne asked, curious. “W-why would you-?”

“Because you’re amazing, and adorable, and I like you a lot,” Hilda said quickly, stumbling over her words somewhat. “And I… made something for you to show that, hopefully. But, if I’m reading this whole thing wrong, please stop me now before I embarrass myself any further.”

“L-like me? Read this whole thing? Ah…” Marianne fished her gift from the small gift bag she was carrying around since the start of the party, a jar decorated with a simple pink bow and filled with what appeared to be stacks of multi-coloured post-it notes. “How about you read these, and see if you really did read this all wrong,” she said, biting back the large grin threatening to spread across her face.

Confused, Hilda took the jar and opened it, taking the first pack of notes which seemed to have all been used already, judging by the small misalignments in their stacking and how easily the little notes seemed to come apart. And they all had… printings on them?

In small print, Hilda could make out what looked to be a typical header for a Windbows Outlook email.

_From: Marianne von Edmund_  
_To: Hilda Goneril_  
_Cc:_  
_Subject: RE: Help with Scanner_

_Thank you Hilda for the help. I’d love to be able to chat with you more, but I’m sure you’d get tired of it too soon. I’m not very interesting…_

Hilda remembered this email chain, but definitely didn’t remember this particular message; although Marianne did end up thanking her and promising to chat more after she helped her with working the scanner.

“What are these, Marianne?” she asked, peeling the post-it note to reveal the one underneath, a similar email with the message _Thank you for the yogurt, it was really good_.

“I’m… not the best at expressing my feelings, or voicing my thoughts out loud,” she admitted. “I prefer to write them down, so I’ve been writing emails to you, they’ve just… never left my drafts.” She approached nervously, as Hilda continued to read through them. It started off as a chain of ‘Thank Yous’ from the first few weeks of Marianne joining the company, but more recently evolved into more heartfelt notes, some handwritten rather than printed. _You looked very pretty today. You’re amazing. Sometimes I wish I could be as brave and as kind as you._

“Marianne, this…”

“A-actually,” Marianne stuttered out, stretching out her palm. “Before you reach the last note, I’d like to read it to you… out loud.” Obliging her request, Hilda held out the jar, letting Marianne reach in to take the last note from the blue post-it pack.

“Hilda,” she began, in a small voice, then cleared her throat. “the last time we talked, I told you to ‘go for it’. I realised that it was a little hypocritical of me, not taking my own advice. For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to tell myself to go for it, _it_ being asking you out because I’ve liked you for a while now. Why I haven’t yet? I guess it’s because… because I’m not yet sure of the answer. Not yet sure off whether I’d get the answer I’d like.”

Hilda took both of Marianne’s hands in hers, leaning in to kiss Marianne. “Are you sure now?” she said, grinning as Marianne started to giggle.

And so they walked back into the conference room, hand in hand, Marianne’s new handcrafted charm bracelet Hilda gifted her gleaming under the fluorescents and hastily put-up fairy lights, arriving just in time for Manuela to start the opening bars of her favourite Christmas track. And if Claude caught Hilda on camera, joining in to croon out the lyrics, she didn’t care; she had a new girlfriend to serenade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thank you for reading this doozy of a fic ^^ and have a wonderful holiday break!
> 
> In case you were wondering about who got whom in Secret Santa:
> 
> Marianne: Hilda  
Hilda: Raphael  
Raphael: Ignatz  
Ignatz: Marianne  
Hanneman <-> Manuela  
Claude: Leonie  
Leonie: Lysithea  
Lysithea: Shamir  
Shamir: Lorenz  
Lorenz: Catherine  
Catherine: Claude

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm just thankful they all have last names for this game tbh)
> 
> _Positions/Roles (some legit, some I sort of bsed, most are more or less what I headcanon):_
> 
> Hilda: Risk and Advisory intern
> 
> Marianne: new Administrative Assistant
> 
> Claude: Executive Assistant, works under Judith
> 
> Leonie: Accountant
> 
> Lysithea: IT Helpdesk
> 
> Lorenz: Recruiter, HR
> 
> Raphael: Consultant for Client Relations
> 
> Ignatz: Consultant for Client Relations (working for Marketing and Communications)
> 
> Holst: VP Governance
> 
> Lorenz’ dad: CEO
> 
> Claude’s grandpa: Director on Board of Directors (he doesn’t make an appearance sadly)
> 
> Judith: Head of Procurement
> 
> Nader: Risk Manager
> 
> Hanneman: CIO
> 
> Manuela: Head of Marketing
> 
> Catherine, Shamir, Alois: Legal Counsel
> 
> Seteth: Head of HR
> 
> Gatekeeper/Kyle Gates: Head of Security
> 
> Cyril: Paralegal


End file.
